Some Thoughts on Conciousness

Ok, so I am in the midst of this explorative journey, and I am distinctly lacking in direction. I am a Christian and I believe in God. I also believe that God equips us to discover ourselves through personal enrichment activities. I look to my Bible for guidance and I pray for discernment, but I also have to put my own mind to use in the process. There is an old Russian expression , 'Pray to God, but keep rowing to shore.'

That having been said, when I was in my twenties I was very suspicious of and skeptical about self-help books. I guess there was a part of me that felt my intellect should be sufficient to resolve any issues I might come up against. I was also regularly attending therapy and figured whatever needed to be resolved would come up therein. Now, at 32, I find myself gravitating towards the self-help section in my local book megastore. But those trips often leave me feeling entirely overwhelmed. It is unbelievable the plethora of topics for which self-help books have been written. From Dr. Phil (Self-Matters) to Stephen Covey (Seven Habits of Highly Effective People) to Iyanla Vanzant (In the Meantime), all three of which I own, you can find a book to help you with just about any issue you face in life. It's a multi-million dollar industry. However, inspite of the reading I have done, I have only been able to glean fundamental concepts. There is no 'magic pill'. Self-discovery takes work. You can't read your way to knowing yourself, no matter how much reading you do. Action and deliberateness are required. My therapist refers to this as living conciously.

How do you go about living conciously? I believe the first key is to understand that you can't do it all the time. The emotional energy it takes to be present each and every moment would overwhelm the most grounded of people. To always be paying attention to what you think, say and do as well as always paying attention to the world around you is asking alot. Sometimes you just HAVE TO be on autopilot to give your brain an opportunity to rest. Lately I have been paying attention to how much I 'pay attention' and I have realized that I am barely concious most of the time. From rising in the morning to laying down at night, I am usually on autopilot. Through daily effort, I am trying to teach myself to be more aware. My goal is to train myself to navigate each and every day with my eyes as open and focused as possible. Autopilot is now reserved for the moments when my brain needs a break to recharge so I can be present for the next experience life throws my way.