Light Up the Darkness

Someone who has had a very unique affect on my life is a HUGE Bob Marley fan. She loves him,  idolizes him and knows more about him than any person I have ever met. In the movie I Am Legend, the main character talks about Bob Marley and how he strove, in his short life, to 'light up the darkness'. I am not sure if this is a lyrical phrase from one of Marley's songs (maybe someone who will read this knows and can tell me) but it speaks to the place I have chosen to 'wander' to as I move through the daily paces of my life and try to find the person I am again, as I strive to become the person I know I can be.

In previous entries, I have written about darkness. In recent life, I have found myself floundering in the darkness, visiting there and becoming complacently comfortable. I feel that I have finally resumed the steady climb towards the light. Yesterday, I was reminded that the bright spots can be found in the smallest accomplishments.  The effort can be monumental, to think in this way, to acknowledge the tiniest successes, but the affect it has can be equally as monumental. Just a single triumph, focused upon and nurtured in the heart, can be the catalyst in an unstoppable chain reaction of change.

Yesterday was a really good day. It was one of the best days I have had in a very long time. My simple triumph: I found out that I am meeting or exceeding the metrics required to be successful in my new position at work. It's a quiet victory but it spoke loud and resounding volumes of positivity into my spirit. I smiled all day; a genuine smile. I was proud of me. My persistence, work ethic and determination to succeed paid off. I received approval and accolades for my efforts. In the same way that a child's self esteem is strengthened and nurtured by recognition and praise, I believe that even as adults we can thrive on experiences like these.

This little point of light lead to another . . . GRATITUDE. I am thankful for my job. I am thankful for the roof over my head, the food on my table, the ability to walk, talk, think, speak and feel. I am thankful for my children and my family. I am thankful for friends, near and far. I am thankful for waking up each day and lying down in the safety and comfort of my bed each night. I recognize that none of these things is promised.  I have never known what it means to be truly hungry or poor. I have never slept in the street or wanted for basic necessities.  All of these things make me rich beyond measure. God has blessed me infinitely because I know joy, love and even pain.

Another point of light . . . I AM WRITING AGAIN. This is MAJOR. I haven't been able to use or even find my own voice in such a long time. Writing has always been a way for me to 'exorcise my demons'. I have used it to work through the toughest times in my life and find my way out the other side basically intact. The art and craft of using words to bring order to my inner world had been lost to me for longer than I care to think about.  I feel immeasurable elation that those words are coming back and I have the intellect to express them.

As another day begins, I find that there is reason to be optimistic.  I can feel good about myself. I can speak positively to myself. I am a flawed, fallible, fractured human being but I am me and I can . . . Light Up the Darkness. I encourage you to do the same.

Peace and Blessings.